Thoughts unspoken
by BlazingSolstitium
Summary: series of Loki one-shots based on his thoughts and feelings during some of the scenes of both Thor and the Avengers that hit me personally. These are based on my interpetations and what I think Loki might have been feeling. Rate T to be safe for future pages.
1. Goodbyes

**Greetings my fellow fanfictioneers, **  
**I'm not new to fanfiction though this is a new account, I got tired of seeing all the stories I lost inspiration for staring at me like zits in a mirror, so I decided to make a clean slate for myself.**

**This is my first Thor/Avengers fanfiction and I doubt it will be the last for I am planning on making a series of Loki-based one-shots centering around his thoughts and views from various scenes from both the movie Thor and The Avengers and in between. I may or may not just add them on as different chapters. Please review and give me constructive criticism , no flames please. You don't have like what I write but there's no reason to be rude about it. **

**I will try to get more done as quickly as I can but with Rift and now the release of Guild Wars 2, my time at home is...occupied, so I get most of my writing in while I'm at work. Thankfully, my job entails lots and lots of standing around and doing nothing in front of a computer so as long as it's a slow day at the office, I should be able to finish up another one in the next day or two.**

**This takes place at the end of Thor, right after Thor destroys the Bifrost.**

_Italics are Loki's thoughts_

_quotations are spoken words (duh) _

Loki stared up into the strained faces of the men who he called Father and Brother. He could see the love in their eyes; even after all that he had done, they would not abandon him. Thor had grabbed the end of his spear when the blast threatened to send them both into the abyss and Odin, who had appeared just in time to save them both, stood on the edge of the shattered Bifrost, gripped Thor's ankle, saving them both. Loki could tell the great King was exhausted and straining from the two's weight but he would not let go. The King would not let them fall. Tears welled in his eyes as Loki stared up into the face of his father, "I could have done it Father! I could have done it, for you. For all of us."  
Odin looked down at his wayward son sadly, Loki felt as if the great Allfather would remain silent, until finally the wise king spoke sullenly, "No Loki."  
So simple of statement, so few words and yet they hit Loki like a ton of bricks. He searched his father's face, desperate to see the meaning of so simple of statement, he could see exhaustion, love but above all else, Loki could see pity and disappointment..._disappointment in me,_ Loki thought. He looked to his brother, Thor, God of Thunder, always the optimist, wearing a reassuring smile, his blue eyes twinkling. Thor loved him, no one could as for a better brother. No matter how many times or how badly Loki betrayed him, Thor would still love him. A sad realization suddenly hit Loki,_ I don't belong here. They are so good, but I, I only bring destruction and chaos..._he looked back to Odin, saying his silent good bye, Loki then gave one last glance at Thor. His brother must have seen the change in Loki's face for his expression changed to horror, "Loki no!" but it was too late, Loki was set on his decision and he let go.

As he watched everything he had even known shrink in the distance, a new sense of freedom washed over him,_ Even though death awaits me, I am free..._ "Good bye...my brother," Loki whispered as he turned away from the life he once knew and towards the unknown that awaited him.

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**Well, that's it for round one. **

**I know some of you are wondering a few things, like if I interpreted this scene in the movie as Loki not wanting the burden his family then how did he go from that to 'Destroy everything' in the Avengers? Ooooh hohoooo that is for me to know and for you to find out in the next installment. **

**Stay tuned for more adventures!**


	2. Doubt

**Greetings once again! Sorry I didn't get this out sooner. I momentarily lost my drive due to the fact that it didn't seem like I was getting many hits. Reviews and watches are the fuel to my drive with this stories so the fact that it seemed like there had been very few views discouraged me. However, I came to the realization that I was expecting too much to how short the first segment was. I couldn't really expect people to be spamming me with reveiws with so little, so now with a renewed since a determination, I present the next chapter.!**

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How long had he been floating? Here, in this endless void, there was nothing to remind him of the time. It could have been just meer hours or centuries, but it mattered naught to Loki, to him time meant nothing.

The God of Mischeif appeared to be sleeping in the weightlessness of they abyss, his eyes were closed and his arm crossed across his chest. He tried to will death to him, Loki would have rather face death than to be doomed to float here for eternity. He cursed his brother for throwing him to this miserable fate. No. Thor didn't throw him. Loki had let go...Thor was innocent. "_No, he is no brother to you. You are alone, you have always been alone. Always will be. You are weak to think of your pethetic little life in Asgard." _a voice hissed inside his mind.

His eyebrows pinched together, his eyes still closed, "_You are wrong, we may not be of the same blood but Odin and Thor cared for me. Despite all that I had done to them, all the evil I have done, they still loved me."_

_"Hah! Your sentiments only make you weak. That look in our, so-called, Father's eyes was not pity and disappointment, it was only disappointment. Disappointed and regret...Regret for ever saving us from the frozen wastes of Jotunheim when we were but an infant."_

_"Even if the Allfather felt that, Thor honestly cared."_

_"Pah! Our Brother," _the voice dripped with disdain and venom, "_Our Brother only cared for the sake of being raised along side us. Do you really think that if the Allfather had selected us to be his heir that Thor would have agreed with the decision? No! He would have turned his back from us! He would have rejected us and when the truth of our origin was revealed, he would have used it against us to dethrone us!"_

_"No!" _a single tear escaped from a closed eye.

_"Oh YES!" _the voice spat, "_Thor has always had his eyes on the throne, he would have never allowed us to rule even though we were the obvious choice! He pities us because he was made the chosen heir, despite all of his obvious flaws! He treats us with a soft hand because he knows what we are capable of! He knows that we are the rightful heir to the thrown of Asgard!"_

_"He still tried to save us." _he defended weakly.

_"If he cared for us so much, why did he not grab us with his free hand! He knew what we were planning before we let go! He could have grabbed us! He did NOT!" _the voice had risen to a hoarse roar.

"SILENCE!" Loki roared aloud, his hands shooting up to the side of his head, fingers deperately digging into his hair. His face shined with sweat as his eyes darted around as if searching for an unseen enemy. When he was met with only silence, Loki finally relaxed, sweeping a shaky hand through his hair.

Although his mind was no longer fighting with itself, the dark seed of doubt had been planted.

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**Oh hoo! A little Golem action going on! I always kind of imagined Loki to have very verbal confrontations internally between the side of him that wants to accept the good in people and the side that is spiteful and cruel. In both Thor and the Avengers it seemed like Loki was very much 'at war with himself' although his bad side, being the most dominent always seemed to win over his actions.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Ballofstring66**- Thanks for the words of encouragment and the review!

**I'm dedicating this chapter to Thomas Clough; Brother of my best friend and best friend of my boyfriend; Born 6/10/1987, Died in a car accident on 10/27/2012. R.I.P. You will be sorely missed.**

Sorry this probably isn't as well written or as long as the other but I'm had issues concentrating on writing. Been a very stressful past few days.

Enjoy

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The corners of his lips curled up into a twisted smile as he felt the energy snapping and buzzing around him. He could feel the sceptor's power calling to its maker, it would be soon now. Soon the portal will be opened and then Loki would finally have his revenge. The God of Mischeif only wished that he could see his dear brother's face when his precious earth falls but it is but a small price to pay for revenge. Heimdall would surely be watching and would certainly notify Thor and Odin of his actions and knowing that they could do nothing but watch pleased him. He had been been through enough hardships and deserved his moment of glory.

The being known as Thanos had been gracious enough to pluck him from the abyss and help him overcome all of his weak, sentimental emotions that would only cause him more pain. Thanos's techniques weren't pleasants ones and Loki had been brought to the brink of death and brought back again. The agony he had been put through, it was much like the time he was sentenced to be chained beneath the great serpent while its venom slowly dripped onto his his bare back. Almost, not quite; this time there was no physical source of the pain and certainly no sympathetic maiden to help catch the source of his suffering. Loki took all the pain in, he welcomed it. It seemed to dull his mind to his worries, his doubts yet made things all so clear. It made it easy to see who was truly at fault for all the bad things in his life, it showed him what must be done.

Soon the pain faded into a warmth that energized him, made him feel alive, and as Thanos promised, he was reborn as the rightful ruler of Earth and welder of the Tesseract. No longer was he, Loki, God of Mischeif, always to be out shined by the God of Thunder; Now he was Loki, Future King of Midgard, Rightful Heir to Asgard. He would be second to no one! Once he takes over Earth, even the Mighty Odin, AllFather will tremble before his might!

Loki broke out of his thoughts and calmed his breathing that had increased from the excitement of his thoughts. He glanced around him, preparing himself for the jump, _Thanos thinks he controls me, but let him think what he will. I will use his Chitari for my own purpose and then send them back to Thanos before close the portal and keeping the Tesseract for myself. I can not be ruled! I am done being used as a tool for someone else's rise to power. Thor needed me for my cunning and Thanos needs a pawn to win him the Tesseract, let us see what happens when they no longer have me to help them in their quests for power. _

Suddenly Loki felt the pull, it was time. The energy that had been snapping around him seemed to jolt together, causing the air in front of him to shimmer and refract the light around it. He felt it tearing at him, streatching him until he was shooting through space, he let out a laugh, revenge will be oh so sweet!


End file.
